Getting Ready
Carrie Pepler
Going through her overstuffed closet she searched for something to wear. Honestly, how could a closet made for a couple to share be so full of her clothes? Had it really been ten years since they moved into this house and her husband put his things in the guest closet, leaving this one just for her? She pulled on the same outfits that had been just fine for work a few days earlier, Capri pants and t-shirts, but now they were all wrong. She’d have to dig a little deeper to find something. Navy blue dress? No, too outdated. Jeans? No, too snug. Tank top? Absolutely not. She had to find something that wouldn’t make her look out of style and old-ladyish, but not like someone who is trying too hard to look like the younger set either. Why would it matter anyway? She thought, tossing a sequined shirt to the floor. She had been feeling unremarkable for a few years now. She rolled her eyes and with a smirk, blamed it on the sensible shoes she had started wearing. Who can turn an eye wearing Mary Janes? She kicked those onto the growing pile of clothes without even putting them on. It was her daughter’s 25th birthday, her baby was a quarter of a century old, which made her- well, she decided not to go there. She and her husband had agreed to go downtown with her daughter and a group of friends to celebrate, but doubt consumed her. She knew she had been a good mom, she and her daughter had been inseparable, especially during those years when it was just the two of them. But things were changing, people were moving on. It had been a difficult day trying to find the right gift, it used to be so fun and easy to find something her daughter would love, today it had been a series of reminders that they had grown apart. Recalling her daughter as a little girl reminded her how supportive her parents had been. It was so long ago that her dad mowed the lawn with his young granddaughter in a backpack on his back, and her mother played fairy princess every afternoon. It was sad to see them both growing old, their health declining. She hated to think that her time left with them was getting shorter and shorter. Now her daughter would be moving out, once she found an affordable apartment. What would be left? A house in the suburbs? Letting yet another pair of khaki pants drop to the floor she felt a twinge of guilt. Clearly she should be happy to have an empty nest with her husband, they had wonderful times together. She thought about their camping trips and pushed her hiking boots further under the bed. What had her worried was that she hadn’t thought things through past raising her child and being a daughter. What would be left of her without the roles of mother and child? Planning the second half of her life was unlike the lesson plans she had written for so many years. There was no curriculum map, no list of standards, and (thankfully) no assessment. The only option she had was to enjoy the days she had left with her family such as it was, and learn the rest along the journey. She glanced at the time on her phone, and felt a rush of energy. Settling on a calf- length skirt, a knit top and sandals, she kicked the piles of clothes aside and made her way to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her purse, ready for the celebration.
Carrie Pepler
Going through her overstuffed closet she searched for something to wear. Honestly, how could a closet made for a couple to share be so full of her clothes? Had it really been ten years since they moved into this house and her husband put his things in the guest closet, leaving this one just for her? She pulled on the same outfits that had been just fine for work a few days earlier, Capri pants and t-shirts, but now they were all wrong. She’d have to dig a little deeper to find something. Navy blue dress? No, too outdated. Jeans? No, too snug. Tank top? Absolutely not. She had to find something that wouldn’t make her look out of style and old-ladyish, but not like someone who is trying too hard to look like the younger set either. Why would it matter anyway? She thought, tossing a sequined shirt to the floor. She had been feeling unremarkable for a few years now. She rolled her eyes and with a smirk, blamed it on the sensible shoes she had started wearing. Who can turn an eye wearing Mary Janes? She kicked those onto the growing pile of clothes without even putting them on. It was her daughter’s 25th birthday, her baby was a quarter of a century old, which made her- well, she decided not to go there. She and her husband had agreed to go downtown with her daughter and a group of friends to celebrate, but doubt consumed her. She knew she had been a good mom, she and her daughter had been inseparable, especially during those years when it was just the two of them. But things were changing, people were moving on. It had been a difficult day trying to find the right gift, it used to be so fun and easy to find something her daughter would love, today it had been a series of reminders that they had grown apart. Recalling her daughter as a little girl reminded her how supportive her parents had been. It was so long ago that her dad mowed the lawn with his young granddaughter in a backpack on his back, and her mother played fairy princess every afternoon. It was sad to see them both growing old, their health declining. She hated to think that her time left with them was getting shorter and shorter. Now her daughter would be moving out, once she found an affordable apartment. What would be left? A house in the suburbs? Letting yet another pair of khaki pants drop to the floor she felt a twinge of guilt. Clearly she should be happy to have an empty nest with her husband, they had wonderful times together. She thought about their camping trips and pushed her hiking boots further under the bed. What had her worried was that she hadn’t thought things through past raising her child and being a daughter. What would be left of her without the roles of mother and child? Planning the second half of her life was unlike the lesson plans she had written for so many years. There was no curriculum map, no list of standards, and (thankfully) no assessment. The only option she had was to enjoy the days she had left with her family such as it was, and learn the rest along the journey. She glanced at the time on her phone, and felt a rush of energy. Settling on a calf- length skirt, a knit top and sandals, she kicked the piles of clothes aside and made her way to the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her purse, ready for the celebration.